How Deep is Enough?
I’ve been enjoying reading through Bill Search’s book Simple Small Groups. One of the first things that caught my eye was his idea on expectations of the intimacy of a group. In other words, how deep, is deep enough? Does every group need to share every detail of their personal lives to be effective?
Bill compares two experiences he had in groups. His first group, “shared thoughts hidden from nearly everyone and confessed sins that I didn’t plan to talk about with any human.” Another group didn’t share anywhere near that level. Was the first group the only valid group?
Here’s what Bill says. “One group experience isn’t necessarily better than another. We are all different people, and therefore we are all going to have different group expectations.” Different groups will have different experiences and that’s OK. You may have an idea of what the bulls eye looks like and its nice to try to get there. However, not all groups will reach an intimacy level like we see in Acts 2:42ff.
“Our goal as leaders should be to include the connecting pattern at the degree of intensity right for our group.” Connect right where your group is at. Don’t force it to the next level. Allow God, the group and yourself the grace to move deeper together or to be OK with exactly where your group is at. Meeting together consistently is better than folks not meeting at all.
DA
all quotes from p. 53
Groups Guy 
Thanks for good reminder Dane. This is encouraging to me because I have at times been frustrated by trying to impose my expectations on the group. I am sure that has frustrated others too. Ultimately we need to be together caring for one another and being open to the Spirit moving among us.
Denny, I agree. We need to be OK with where God has the group. I need to be grateful for exactly where my group is at. Not every grp will develop a deep intamacy. That’s OK. That chapter has given me grace as I approach my grps.
Let’s talk more about your group. I’d love to hear what’s going on.
Dane