Groups Guy

I wrote last week about Bill Search’s thoughts on widening the bulls eye of your group. He was helping us to see that we might not need to hit perfect intimacy in a group for it to be good.

This week we’ll look at the continuum of connecting in a group. Bill suggests 3 levels: Meet, Commit, & Belong. Meet is where every group, every H/ABF starts. At first its just a meeting. People only come because it was put on the schedule. There’s not much conversation or openness. In Commit members begin to want to be there. They begin to linger as opposed to run out the door. People begin to talk. I remember the transition in my ABF when we went from meeting each week with no interaction, no laughter. It took one guy to break the ice. Mark Deering realized I had cracked a joke and he made a snappy remark back. After that our ABF started talking and conversing with each other. It was fun to watch. The final phase is Belong. Here folks move to caring and serving. You see it by the way they rally for each other when there is a need. I’ve seen it in ABFs when the group finds anyway they can help when there is a need. The Christman’s Barberton HABF had such an experience when one of their members went to the hospital. Bob & Sally were there at the hospital, helped finish a project at the home of their ailing friend. This group learned what it meant to Belong.

For more details on figuring out where your group is at on the continuum and how to move them to greater connection see pages 57-64.

DA