Sunday Ready – Seven Easy Steps to Conflict Resolution!

We will be finishing our little series with the DVD ReGroup. We are using some of the material from the Extended Tips on Conflict

Resolution. This has been a nice sync-ing with our sermon series also on conflict called, When Sparks Fly. To hear the sermons you can download the podcasts from itunes (May 16, 23, 30, The Chapel). There is some good additional resources in our sermons.
Here’s the plan for Sunday…
We’ll first show a great clip of a confrontation gone bad. It happens about 1:40 into this extended tip video. It highlights the emotion that can happen when someone is confronted and they fight back. It will be a helpful reminder of the pain that can occur. We’ve probably all experienced this at some point. It’s not fun.
This clip will be a launch point for a couple of verses. Philippians 4:2, 3 offers a good look at a conflict between two believers. The set up question will be, “How many different facts can we come up with from these verses.” Here are the ones I’ll focus on: 1) conflict happens – it’s not usual or weird, 2) conflict happens amongst good people, 3) others need to help resolve it, 4) you may need agree ‘in the Lord.’
The next verse we’ll touch on is Matt 5:21-26. Here the point is that God so values peace and relationships that we should not worship until we’ve worked through our issues.
The question is always in conflict, “How do you do it appropriately.” I’ve attached my handout for this Sunday that list seven principles to follow. Regroup&ConflictVerses

We really can resolve conflict and do it well. It does all start with our attitude towards the other person. Are we wanting just to get back at them for the hurt they’ve caused? If that’s the case we need to pray through for a change in heart. If I come to you with an attitude you’ll most likely not want to hear a bit of what I share. At that point, nothings been done to alleviate the problem. In fact, it probably is now worse.

The other important principle in resolving a conflict is staying away from statements like, “You blew, you disregarded me.” The work of preparing before you actually sit down is the write down the specific offenses without using the accusatory YOU. Rephrasing helps to discuss the problem and work at not making it personal. One way to phrase it is, “When this was said it made me fell rejected.” This keeps the finger pointing away and gives the best opportunity to have a discussion.

For the rest of the lesson, we’ll work through the rest of these seven ways to resolve conflict on the second page of the handout. A great take away would be if someone takes a better step to resolve an issue. If that happens and the relationship is restored that is a beautiful gift of peace. The Lord would like that very much.

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